Are You Single and Ready to Mingle?

When I mentioned my latest crazy ideas to an (available) male friend, I was met with derision wrapped in a pastry case of pitfalls.

And of course, in many ways, he was right, HOWEVER, in the same vein, let’s acknowledge how many times ‘some’ great manuscripts have been rejected before they are critically acclaimed and become bestsellers.

Yes, some crazy ideas just need a little bit of spit and a polish with a Granny’s lacy hanky, and they are good to go. Unlike my friend, let’s not be too quick to judge.  It may be a YES from you dear reader…..

I was pondering the dilemma probably all of us face at one time or another, when you spot an attractive man, or woman, in the supermarket. Maybe you lock eyes and do that thing where you hold their gaze for a couple of seconds longer than necessary, or even, do a double-take. Obviously, that’s reserved for very attractive shoppers only.

If you are really a smitten kitten, you might even casually follow the attractive shopper around the store to judge by the contents of their basket, if they are shopping for a meal deal for one….. or two.

And of course, we mustn’t forget that in these modern times, depending on the contents of your pants and persuasion, do their 10 items or less, indicate the contents of their own pants and persuasion, and basically, are you likely to be compatible. It’s a minefield of genders out there, one cannot be too careful.

But you can follow the attractive person all around the store, via home cooking, and artisan bread and cakes, and sadly it will all still be futile if they are not actually available.  But how will you know….and here’s where my crazy idea came in…..

If there was some visible indicator of a person’s availability status, or their willingness to be approached for a quick chat, and possible exchange of numbers, then things would be a lot simpler.

Picture the scene.  You spot someone at the checkout. You lock eyes more than once, you are checking each other out.  But their queue is moving quicker than yours, and they are heading off far too soon out into the car park, whilst you are still trying to find your loyalty card.  Within seconds, they are lost forever. AND yes, possibly going home to their significant other. But possibly not.

So if you did happen to know that they were free and single, you could abandon your shopping for one, and follow in hot pursuit, ready to strike up a car park conversation.  And who knows what could happen.

I stand by my original idea, that all free and single, and happy to mingle with people, (note my nod to gender fluidness) should have a badge of availability honour.  Like those old Rotarians, but far less classy.

That way, you could be sure you weren’t approaching a man living with a coach load of children, or a lady living with a man. No woman would live with a coach load of men. It would be just plain silly. One is more than enough.

Armed with all this knowledge, you could bag yourself a mini Supermarket Speed date in Sainsbury’s, a Micro Date in Morrisons, or a Winner Winner Chicken Dinner in Waitrose.

The possibilities are endless.  So whose up for an availability badge, I’m ordering some sticky back plastic as soon as possible.



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