Are you caring for grandchildren, helping out with your own adult children and also taking responsibility for your elderly parents? If so, then you’re part of what is sometimes referred to as the ‘sandwich generation‘. Cross generational caring is a relatively recent phenomenon, and it can leave us feeling drained, anxious, spread too thin and worried that we are not doing enough to meet everyone’s needs – while placing our own firmly at the bottom of the list. There are some techniques which can help you to cope with this situation – so try to share the load and remember to care for the carer – yourself!
Use Your Network
This sandwich generation situation can feel extremely isolating at times, but you are not alone, so make use of the support networks that you have available to help you cope, let off steam or act as a sounding board. Talking about our frustrations with someone we trust can be enormously helpful – either friends or family members or even find a local carer’s support group. Be open about your struggles and there might be other paths available, such as Homecare services, which can ease some of the pressure.
Allow Yourself To Delegate
Often we feel that we have to do absolutely everything ourselves, but in fact a little delegation can ease the pressure on all concerned. If you look after grandchildren, there’s nothing wrong with getting them to pitch in with age appropriate chores around the house – it teaches them independence and makes them feel included, while also crossing some of those jobs off your never ending to-do list. Use the Internet to make your life easier as well – from placing automatic recurring orders for your parent’s groceries and medications to switching their bills to be paid by direct debit, a little technology can really help to lighten the load of some aspects of caring duties.
Set Your Boundaries and Prioritise
It’s hugely important to set boundaries that work for you and protect your own physical and mental wellbeing. This is not being selfish – it is merely taking care of yourself in order to help others. This could mean limiting the amount of childcare you offer for grandchildren or asking your siblings to take on aspects of the care for your parents, such as the financial paperwork or visiting more frequently. There are only a finite amount of hours in the day. Learn some prioritisation techniques to apply to your overflowing task list, and weed out things which aren’t a good use of your time.
Communicate On Your Terms
Being a carer isn’t just about the immediate responsibility – it can mean acting as the main gatekeeper for information and updates to the rest of the family, and that can be a drain in itself. Take back control by providing one source of updates – whether it’s sending out an email or creating a family WhatsApp group. Only having to repeat yourself once can do wonders for your stress levels.
Taking on so much is never going to be easy, but you can smooth the edges a little with a few small actions.
