Photo by Alina Vilchenko: https://www.pexels.com/photo/photo-of-person-holding-cup-3363111/
Most people don’t think so deeply about their own funeral as long as it adheres to a kind of respectful tradition or norm. After all, none of us will be there to see it in person. Yet that doesn’t mean anything goes, nor does it mean you won’t have preferences. You also have your family to think about, because it’s as much for them to remember and honor your memory as it is for anything else.
So how might be the best way to go about planning such an event? Well, you can certainly go over this with a funeral home service that allows you to plan what happens and who might be responsible.
You can also, within reason, add many of your own stipulations. But as not everyone is an expert in this kind of arrangement or event, you may question what options are available to you, and what realistic, appropriate requirements are worth having in your will. Let’s explore some of that, below:
What Style Preferences Could There Be?
Maybe you’ve pictured what song might play, or figured a few familiar faces will show up, and that’s that. Yet if you’re the sort who does think about the details, there’s nothing strange about wanting to discuss your options and what your real preferences are. For example, perhaps you’d request that no one wears black to your funeral but instead wears their most colourful and vibrant outfit, because you’d prefer people celebrated than felt tragedy. Or of course, perhaps you’d like a certain style of music to be played, or for roses to be laid out instead of the more conventional funeral flowers. This way you can talk about the theme, which is relatively easy to accommodate, but does make a big impact.
Who Speaks & Is Invited
It’s true to say that sometimes, you just want to have the ight people to remember you. That’s not to say you can decide who visits your gravesite or who sends well wishes of course, but if you’re just prefer it to be within your small family unit, that can be fine. If you’d rather not have your funeral as a family gathering point to settle differences between sides of the family, it’s fine to say that of course. Just be mindful of what instructions like this could imply or any conflict they could bring, when the true worth is bringing people together to remember you. Extending forgiveness and empathy isn’t a bad idea.
Make Space For Others Without Handing It All Over
You might have things you want, but it’s also kind to leave space for the people left behind because ultimately, they want to remember you well. Maybe you’ve asked for no formal dress for example, but they still wear smart casual to be respectful to you. That’s fine. Let the plan guide, not restrict if you can. If you can list the broad strokes, such as where you’d like the service to be held or the vicar you’d like to hold over the event, then that can be pre-arranged and considered. Ultimately, a funeral is a token of love, and it’s nice to let it be such. Perhaps you can say that no one is to be left unfed at the wake.
With this advice, we hope you can feel more confident knowing your own funeral will be a loving and heartfelt event.
