The Confidence to be Yourself Includes Accepting Intolerance

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ARE WE TOO SENSITIVE

There’s a saying that we’ve all heard in society, and it goes a little something like ‘getting old is great fun, you can finally say what you really think about people’. I presume this means being honest and not sugar-coating anything. We take the opposite route and lie to people to not hurt their feelings but in the end, we just bottle up our true thoughts and start to become a carbon-copy character. Well, if you can’t be honest about absolutely everything, what’s the point in getting old? We go through our whole lives putting on a smile and playing a fake enthusiast when meeting other people. And no, it’s not because someone might be socially awkward it’s because there’s a thing called common courtesy that we need to uphold. Indeed, that is something we should uphold when we first meet total strangers who we don’t know. But what about people we have gotten to know, even just moderately, why can’t we be more honest with them? I for one think that honest is great, no matter how sharp and deep it cuts, as long as you don’t feel slimy for being another boring ‘smile and nod’ kind of person. Yet, in order to be more honest, we have to be more confident.

It’s not the what you said

I think many of us have also heard this phrase ‘it’s not what you said, it’s how you said it’. If ever there was such as redundant saying, this would be top 5. So, in society we care more about how we convey our thoughts and opinions, rather than the substance of what they are. That’s kind of like not paying attention to the present I got you for your birthday because you didn’t like the way it was wrapped. I think perhaps that is something that’s convenient, relying on something that is perhaps emotionally sensitive rather than looking at it through a pair of logical lenses. Many people do enjoy the fact that there are people still about that just say it like it is. Increasingly, society is switching from being too sensitive to seeing truth in all it’s honesty is a far better way to live. As we get older, we shouldn’t worry about what other people think about us. Imagine going through life putting on a facade in front of people so as to not appear like a person that is rude of just too forthright and then still doing it when you’re in your twilight years. Living like a bird in a cage is not for me.

Meeting new lovers?

Mature and single, what should one do if you want to find someone to share your life with? Ask yourself, are you trying to find someone for the sake of it, or would be you happier on your own, going solo? The latter is very underrated. Society again likes to shape our worldview and we’re can be led to believe being mature and on your own is something to be avoided like the plague. But, what if you’re simply happier in solitude? What if you simply cannot stand people your own age, that drone on about nothing important and quite frankly have let themselves go physically? Sounds like people who need to be with someone are needy and can only meaning in life when someone else is in it. Dare I say, that’s a lack of self-respect and weak-mindedness. Why tolerate people who you find to be mundane, always complaining about something?

Maybe you already know

Have you ever considered that maybe, you already know what kind of life you want to live but have always held yourself back? It could have been because of expectations put on you by others, such as parents, friends and even colleagues. It’s kind of like standing on a precipice and just waiting for a gust of wind to push you over, so you can start living the way you want. Suppressing your real personality is one of the worst things we can ever do to ourselves. Maybe you’re someone that has a dark sense of humour, is quite witted in making jibes and poking fun at situations and feel as if you might come off as someone nasty so you hide that part of yourself in front of people. Again, that leads you to being a ‘smile and nod politely’ kind of person.

Need some guidance?

What if you were always this kind of person that just said it like it was and didn’t root much for political correctness? I don’t know about you but some people turn to horoscopes and learning more about their star sign, to perhaps help them make more sense of themselves. Even tarot reading is relied upon by some to help them figure out a happier path and way to live. It could be because you’re looking for relationship advice, or just a general reading, a psychic may be able to help you understand yourself a bit better. They could even make sense of your horoscope and explain what you’re truly like. Either way, I think many people know what they’re truly like and therefore what they really want, but too afraid to break the norms that society holds us to.

Rudeness vs truth

I believe that you should be polite to people for the sake of it. Treat others as you want to be treated as the saying goes. However, I also think that the truth no matter how harsh it is, can actually help people. Part of this attitude means accepting that people will often interpret your honesty as rudeness. That’s something you have to get used to and embrace with open arms. I think not tolerating someone’s endless boring chatter, cattiness, laziness or bad manners to name a few things, is something more people need to do. Be kind, but don’t push it too far is what I’m saying.

Woe is the individual that cannot seem to be themselves even into their older years. I’m aware that being honest even if it means breaking some kind of common courtesy boundary isn’t the normal way of doing things. But, if being normal is what one is expected to still be after all these years, then count me out.

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